Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies that help us to cope with reality whilst also preserving our self esteem. Normal, healthy people use them regularly. Examples could include humour, thought suppression or sublimation (transforming negative emotions into positive actions - like helping a friend when we’re feeling sad or down). They only become pathological when they lead to problematic behaviours that compromise our health or relationships. Examples of unhealthy defenses include:
Acting out: This is directly expressing an unconscious impulse without realising what is driving the behaviour.
Fantasy: This is retreating to a fantasy world to escape, or resolve, conflicts we are battling with.
Idealization: This is unconsciously choosing to see another person as being more ideal or perfect than they really are.
Passive aggression: This is expressing our anger indirectly, for example, through being late or doing something that “inadvertently” destroys another’s plans.
Projection: This is attributing our own unacknowledged, and unacceptable, thoughts and emotions onto someone else.
Somatization: This is translating negative thoughts and feelings into physical symptoms. For example, suffering from migraines when you’re dealing with a difficult relationship.
Denial: This is refusing to accept reality because it is too painful or threatening.
Regression: This is temporarily reverting to an earlier stage of development to avoid handling problems and concerns in a more appropriate and adult way.
Distortion: This is totally reshaping your picture of reality so it’s now consistent with your internal needs.
Splitting: This is a primitive defense where the negative and positive aspects are split off – and there’s no integration of these parts at all. For example, the person may view others as being either completely good or completely evil, rather than a mixture of good and bad traits.
Very interesting to think about!
I feel bad, my math teacher is noticing how I never finish all of my work. Little does he know my math grade has been artfully crafted this entire quarter! I do just enough work to maintain a grade I am happy with, giving priority to much more important work such as scholarships. But, you need not worry math teacher, I am learning the material!
I do feel bad though, I am not trying as hard as I could… I think it is a good skill to learn, to prioritize my work. Hopefully I do learn something from this experience.
We all need to improve, for ourselves and those we care about. I for one need to improve the most, and so far the only way that works is if I am happy with myself.
I do not want to stand in the way of anyone, because it makes me sad. If you need a bit of space, or if you feel I don’t understand you, I am more than willing to step aside and leave you to your travels.
I have done so much with my friends thus far and we all have a common goal of being happier and improving ourselves. I am always there for you, always. I am always there for anyone if they need it. I would much rather help others deal with their problems than delve into the complicated labyrinth of my own problems.
I want to be happy, and having those around me feel happy only helps!
I am dating the most wonderful man right now! He is beautiful in every way possible (and imaginable)!
I love him dearly and I just figured out we will be sharing a dorm room together next year! I am so happy! We will be living in the building closest to the University Center where the food is, the “M” hiking trail, and many others. I could have never thought I would live with the man I love, but now that dream has come true.
I was selected to go to the 2012 National Youth Science Camp, which is an amazing honor! My acceptance really has me reconsidering my own abilities and self-worth. I feel that the other two applicants at my school deserve to go more than I do. However, I know it is going to be very valuable in helping me learn more about not only myself but my own interests and even the rest of the world. I still cannot believe it, but I know it is true, and I feel very good about it!
“Axel’s girlfriend Doro has just thrown him out for cheating on her. Turning to his gay pal Norbert, Axel finds a temporary place to live. When Doro finds Axel to reveal she is pregnant, she finds him in a compromising position with Norbert.”
I found this browsing Hulu today! Gosh my boyfriend was a whore in 1996! I didn’t know 3 year old children could convert straight people, but now I know they can!